Showing Up

Today Brady and I danced and danced to Sixteen Tons by Tennessee Ernie Ford (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hj6DpRsV0nU). Brady loves that song. He bends down and shakes his little bum while giggling all the while (the toddler twerk, if you will). His giggle is music to my ears. When he bores of the toddler twerk, he lets me know and I pick him up and two step with him, careful not to drop his little hand because he likes to have his hand held while dancing.

Then, I sang "Old Rugged Cross" (his favorite) about 18 times before tucking him into bed and whispered in his ear for the 20th time today that he was my best friend. You know, that awesome best friend who puts you in time out every now and again and makes you eat your peas.

Lord, will you make me a good mom? I'm really scared of letting these little boys down. My home is always messy (even when its clean), my cooking skills are just enough to get us by, and I'm constantly arguing with  the lazy 300 lb woman inside of me because taffy is delicious (seriously) and the thought alone of dishes exhausts me to the point of paralysis. Add to that my flesh is rebellious and selfish and I'm about to call DHS on myself.

I don't quite understand people who are entirely confident in their parental abilities. I don't trust them. The most humbling role in life is that of parent, so if you haven't allowed the Lord to humble you via the gauntlet of parenting, you're doing it wrong. THAT I am confident of.

On television tonight, a dad in a sitcom said something along the lines of  "when being a dad gets tough, you just have to stick through it because 90% of being a dad is just showing up." That hit home.

Well, guess what? I am AWESOME at showing up. The dishes may be dirty, I'll probably burn your toast, and I might eat enough taffy to get a tummy ache (yes, that happened today) but I'll definitely be the mom front and center at your football game (or band concert) armed with cookies for the team (or band). Hopefully I'll get better at cooking by then. No promises.


End note: Next week I will be posting a "Things I Am Awesome At" list to counter over-disclosure of all the things I suck at. Number 1: self-deprecating over-disclosure.